Jun
9
| pictures of your junk | Tweet |
things we can learn from anthony weiner:
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(1) if you are going to take a picture of your peen, DON’T HIDE IT IN A PAIR OF GREY BOXERS. that is super lame & weirdly more gross than just a regular dick photo.
(2) if you do something bad and someone finds out and posts incriminating evidence on the internet, ADMIT THAT YOU ARE A JACKASS IMMEDIATELY. i’m pretty sure we live in an age where denial always leads to increased embarrassment because sergey brin already knows you boned that dude last night.
(3) if your last name could be phonetically pronounced as “weener” or “whiner,” CHOOSE THE ONE THAT DOESN’T SOUND LIKE A SYNONYM FOR PENIS.
(4) everyone thinks they won’t get found out until they do. and the more power you think you have, the more you believe you can do bad things with impunity. i personally don’t think sending awkward genital-ish photos to strange girls on twitter is THAAAAT gnarly, but i do think we need to remember that pretty much all politicians have been corrupted by real & perceived notions of power. even the obscure representative from wyoming’s one and only congressional district is a straight BALLER in his own mind. so we shouldn’t be surprised when politicians sodomize interns (clinton), solicit gay sex in airport bathrooms (craig aka wide stance), regularly patronize high end prostitution rings (spitzer), take up argentinian mistresses & send them bizarre love emails (sanford), father illegitimate children with their maids (the terminator), or cheat on their wives who have freaking cancer (edwards).
(5) the most depressing part of all of this is that eliot spitzer now has a popular television program and i’m sure anthony weiner will soon be a CNN news correspondent giving his expert opinion on crotch shots.
