suuuper excited to announce that i’ll be joining 3OH!3, hellogoodbye, and Down With Webster on the streets of gold tour this november. tix go on sale later this month. all shows are all ages, so bring infants, please.

dates are listed below. check the tour page for more detailed in4mayshun.

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[STREETS OF GOLD TOUR]

Saturday, November 13th
Knitting Factory (Spokane, WA)
w/ 3OH!3, hellogoodbye, & Down With Webster
Doors 6PM, Show 7PM

Tuesday, November 16th
Knitting Factory (Boise, ID)
w/ 3OH!3, hellogoodbye, & Down With Webster
Doors 6:30PM, Show 7PM

Thursday, November 18th
Empire Events Center (Sacramento, CA)
w/ 3OH!3, hellogoodbye, & Down With Webster
Doors 6PM, Show 7PM

Friday, November 19th
The Dome (Bakersfield, CA)
w/ 3OH!3, hellogoodbye, & Down With Webster
Doors 6PM, Show 7PM

Saturday, November 20th
House of Blues (Las Vegas, NV)
w/ 3OH!3, hellogoodbye, & Down With Webster
Doors 5:30PM, Show 6:30PM

Sunday, November 21st
The Majestic Ventura Theater (Ventura, CA)
w/ 3OH!3, hellogoodbye, & Down With Webster
Doors 6:30PM, Show 7:00PM

Tuesday, November 23rd
Rialto Theatre (Tucson, AZ)
w/ 3OH!3, hellogoodbye, & Down With Webster
Doors 6:30PM, Show 7:00PM

Wednesday, November 24th
Sunshine Theater (Albuquerque, NM)
w/ 3OH!3, hellogoodbye, & Down With Webster
Doors 6PM, Show 7PM

5 Comments »

I HAVE A NEW TRACK FOR YOU
AND I HOPE YOU LIKE IT

very happy to announce the official release of ‘2 Weak,’ premiering on RCRD LBL

download
share
get freaky

you can obtain the mp3 for FREE i.e. zero dollars i.e. the cost of true friendship RIGHT HERE.

13 Comments »

last weekend i kicked it with the awesome and talented emily ibarra, stirring up anomalous weather patterns and causing photographic mayhem in the fine city of san francisco. i’ll be posting official shots soon, but in the meantime, here are some behind the scenes photos for your viewing pleasure.

(1) luke, my roommate/future husband (a girl can dream..), was indispensable to the shoot, shielding my half-naked torso from onlookers as i disrobed in public, applying hairspray to my windswept locks. here he is wielding the samy with authority, getting aerosol dust in my eyes and making me cry tears of chemical joy.

(2) SPRINKLED DONUTS! so we got hungry a couple hours in and decided to eat some donuts. it’s probably not the best idea to ingest fried dough during a photo shoot but much like eminem in 1998, I JUST DON’T GIVE A FUCK.

(3) emily and i went tom cruise mission impossible at the clift hotel in downtown SF. the elevators there are crazy and covered with mirrors. pete doherty would have a field day.

(4) I UNCOVERED THE SECRET TO CLONING HUMANS AND WILL NOW BEGIN PERFORMING HUGH JACKMAN-STYLE MAGIC TRICKS WHERE I DIE BUT NOT REALLY BECAUSE DAVID BOWIE HELPED ME FILL CREEPY WATER TANKS WITH DUPLICATES OF MYSELF

(5) just hanging. on a banister. is that how you spell banister? kinda feels like there should be two n’s. that’s a lonely n right there. awww that n needs a friend to play with on the monkey bars.

1 Comment »

“In her monogrammed Caboodle, she had a sticker collection that would make grown women weep.”
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For my birthday this year I (1) ate delicious Burmese noodles, (2) contemplated the meaning of my own existence, and (3) received a book called How Did You Get This Number by Sloane Crosley, an essayist who specializes in chronicling things like childhood embarrassments, bizarre bridal experiences, and New York city cab odors. My mom gave me the book, thinking I might get a kick out of it. Well let me tell you very good-looking people something: I got a freaking KARATE ROUTINE out of that bitch.

Because I apparently have difficulty making my way through insanely long Russian epics about disillusioned aristocrats who sometimes ride on horses and fight Napoleon, I decided to slide War and Peace onto the backburner for a week and get cozy with some non-Tolstoy fare courtesy of Ms. Crosley. After tearing through How Did You Get This Number in less time than it takes to pee in a cup and find out that you DON’T have chlamydia, I was so enamored with the author and her breezy genius that I stole one of my roommate’s strangely not too big for me sweatshirts (I say strangely because he is a six-foot-four man and I am a five-foot-seven woman) and headed to my local bookstore – where I had FINALLY racked up enough purchases on one of those frequent buyer cards to warrant a free book (DREAMS REALLY DO COME TRUE) – and snagged her first release, I Was Told There’d Be Cake.

THAT SENTENCE WAS LIKE SANTA’S FAMILY.
A LOT OF CLAUSES.

As you know, there’s nothing I like better than a funny girl, and Sloane Crosley is that and more. She manages to mix self-deprecation, humor, and insight into essays that range from the absurd (“You are a shit detective. A regular Carmen Turdiego.”) to the surprisingly profound (“What could be less et cetera than death?”). Like those who have come before – think David Sedaris, Jonathan Ames – Crosley manages to incite legitimate LOLZ as well as :*( in the reader. I’ve been recommending the books to everyone I meet, including newborn babies, the heavily inebriated, and hermione granger.

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LINKZ
Sloane Crosley’s Official Site
How Did You Get This Number on Amazon
I Was Told There’d Be Cake on Amazon

5 Comments »

in an effort to appeal to your highly attuned aesthetic sensibilities AND make individual mixtape tracks available, MASHed Potatoes can now be downloaded:

(1) in its entirety
(2) in pieces
(3) in a variety of deliciously delectable formats (i.e. wav, flac, mp3)

feel free to disseminate the link.
MASHed Potatoes on bandcamp

2 Comments »

you know how some people have a really young aunt because one of their parents got married too young and had kids but then got divorced and remarried a different person and had some more kids like ten years later but then one of the original kids had a kid, making one of the later kids a very young aunt/uncle?

well if i could choose anyone in the world to occupy that familial role for me, it would be KRISTEN WIIG. homegirl is the shiit.

see how i used two letter i’s in the word shit?
THAT WAS LINGUISTICALLY CLEVER
—–

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—–

4 Comments »

i know there are some folks out there who don’t think girls are funny.

ummmm ok dumbasses. keep taking your valtrex.

because i am a fan of women who increase the number of chuckles on planet earth, i’ve decided to devote the next four monday posts to my favorite funny gals. today i’ll be featuring SAMANTHA BEE.

so sit back, relax, and put on that lobster bib. shit is about to get real hilarious.
—–

“when’s the last time a president cut a meeting short to go feed a baby with his balls?”

—–

“i’m a NILF hunter and the 24-hour news networks are my serengeti”

1 Comment »