now that it is no longer socially appropriate to blame pilgrim celebrations for your life problems, i have decided to post some memories from the tour i just finished with my buddies 3OH!3, hellogoodbye, & Down With Webster.

it was a fun couple of weeks.
i made friends, hazy recollections, and small children weep.
———

SEATTLE
i played at a place called chop suey but did not consume the eponymous entree. people were SO FREAKING NICE here and it made me feel very very happy, so thank you seattle for your kindness and hospitality. i opened up for a group called das racist, who create cool music. they have a jam called ‘fake patois’ you should check out because what they say is both funny and true.

SPOKANE
this was the first date i played with 3OH!3 et al and it was a seriously awesome way to start the tour. the show was sold out and afterward dj and i went to a restaurant called perkins, where we ate breakfast for dinner and then questioned whether anything really mattered anymore.

VANCOUVER
my cousin lives in vancouver, so after the RADD show at the vogue theater, we had some family bonding time by watching a man get his head punched into the cement on granville street. then we ate shawarma.

BOISE
the venue we played at was in this little alleyway that is also home to a p.f. chang’s, which got me thinking about those initials (peter francis? patrick fitzgerald?) and then the concept of initials more generally. it’s crazy to consider that if j.k. rowling had published the harry potter series under her full name — joanne rowling — it probably wouldn’t have been even remotely as successful because young male readers are statistically very unlikely to read books written by women.

SAN FRANCISCO
i live in this freaking city, so of course the show was terrible.
JK JK JK
it was amazing. i got to see my friends and my roommates and my family.
AND I HAD A TWO-NIGHT STAND WITH MY OWN BED.

BAKERSFIELD
dj inexplicably fell asleep at the merch booth (which was LITERALLY NEXT TO THE STAGE) and during his cherubic slumber someone spilled a drink at the merch booth so then my shoelaces smelled like rum. we stopped for the night in a town called barstow, where there was some kind of water contamination issue so we had to brush our teeth with bottled water at the motel 6, which was an odd combination.

LAS VEGAS
vegas on a saturday night. so you can imagine we didn’t have any fun.

VENTURA
some of my roommates from college made the trip up to the show, which was very sweet. i also got coffee at a place right across the street from the venue and it was a 4. out of ten not five.

TUCSON
this was the day i finished ‘less than zero’ by bret easton ellis. it’s a pretty interesting book if you are curious about hedonistic drug consumption and promiscuity among los angeles teenagers in the nineteen eighties.

ALBUQUERQUE
on the drive to ABQ i was very tired so i drank a bunch of red bull shots and turned on the new kid cudi album and there was fog everywhere and i think i was actually reaching some other dimension of reality where newts are slow to make friends. then my cellphone sent me a text saying i was in mexico, which freaked me out, but as it turned out i wasn’t in mexico after all. aaaanyhow this was the last night of the tour and i honestly can’t think of a better show to top it all off. so thank you guys.